Vinny entered the pub looking perplexed. He unclipped Scrapps lead and the little dog went to sleep under his usual table.
Vinny wandered up to the bar and ordered the usual.
"Ken why is there a bloody great big Winnebago in the car park?"
Ken drew Vinny a cold one before answering.
"I've joined a scheme called Brit Stops. I'm allowing people to park overnight in the car park for a fiver. A bit of extra income for the pub.
Vinny sipped his pint.
"A good idea if we were in a lovely rural area, perhaps near a babbling brook, a bluebell forest or a beach and NOT and I can't stress this enough in a crime ridden housing estate."
"It's alright I've installed a spotlight in the car park."
"You mean the one that's smashed in the car park?"
"What? Already!"
"Funnily enough Ken thieves are not big fans of light."
Ken shrugged.
"Anyway they're Americans they don't know any better. They came in for a drink earlier. They think the estate is quaint."
Vinny laughed.
"They won't in the morning when their pride and joy is on bricks and covered in graffiti."
"You know your problem Vinny? You have no faith in human nature."
"My faith has been eroded by years of bitter experience and high ale prices my friend."
"They're getting a full English in the morning. Another twenty quid in the till.”
"Maybe I could charge for tours of the estate? Come and see the burning cars. Here is Trixie’s house where you can get more than a massage for a tenner. Come see dogshit alley bonus points for not treading in anything. See the quaint English crack dens and chat to the spice heads in their own special language. The possibilities are endless."
Ken sighed.
"Do you think that just for once Vinny you could not be so bloody sarcastic?"
Vinny grinned.
"Where is Dave tonight anyway Ken?"
"He's outside trying to sell the Americans a genuine piece of tower bridge."
© Darren Sant 2023
