It was a fine sunny afternoon in a small park on the edge of the Longcroft Estate. Vinny had decided to give Scrapps a good walk in the sunshine He spotted a bench and thought he'd have a brief rest. He unclipped the dog's lead.
"Go on Scrapps have a run around and behave yourself."
Scrapps looked up at him with those expressive eyes and trotted away to have a small solo adventure.
It wasn't long before Vinny was joined on the bench by a man with wild hair and wilder eyebrows. The man was wearing a beanie hat but tufts of grey hair sprouted out from under it and went off in all directions.
"Morning." said Vinny.
"Is it?"
"Last time I looked."
"I've not owned a watch since 1963."
"Really?"
"They suck your soul and shorten your life."
Vinny thought about this.
"I'd always thought time was an abstract concept."
"You're fooling yourself. That's what they want you to believe."
"Who?"
"The alien lizard overlords."
Vinny opened his mouth then closed it again. Scrapps took that moment to trot back.
"I'm ok see, I have protection."
The man gave Vinny a look.
"That's just a dog you idiot." The man walked off in disgust.
Vinny fished in his pocket for a dog treat and threw it to Scrapps.
"Good timing lad."
Scrapps trotted off again when he realized no more were forthcoming.
A large imposing man was next to sit down. Vinny smiled at him.
"Lovely day."
The man never cracked a smile. Instead from the corner of his mouth he stage whispered.
"The red squirrel is framed by the morning sunlight. "
The man held out a small package. Vinny shook his head
"I don't care if the black badger farts in the morning dew I think the espionage is carried out at the other end of the park pal."
The man scowled then shuffled off.
Scrapps ran past at full pelt chasing a shadow.
Vinny took out a small flask and poured himself a coffee. As he was sipping it a long legged lady sat beside. She crossed her legs and Vinny admired them as her skirt rode up. In the deepest voice he'd ever heard she said.
"Hi, I'm Sheila. What's your name?” Vinny turned and saw her goatee.
Later that day at his favourite table sipping his first pint gratefully Vinny remarked to Dave.
"This pub is the one sane part of my life."
God help you." Said Dave laughing.
© Darren Sant 2023
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Hammered
Good Afternoon all, Thirteen years ago we published our first crime novel 'Maxwell's Silver Hammer' and despite everyone thinking we were thick Northern upstarts it actually did all right (honest it did! ) and helped to fund a number of other publications of ours that exposed new authors to the world. However, it's always bugged us that the cover was…wel…