Harriet's First Day

Danny King (channelling the spirit of Roald Dahl!)

‘Now listen to me young lady, you’re going to playschool whether you like it or not and there’s nothing else to it.’

‘No Mummy, no,’ cried Harriet. ‘I don’t want to go. I don’t want to.’

‘I don’t care what you do or don’t want to do, you’re going to playschool and that’s all there is to it.’

‘Nooooo,’ Harriet continued to grizzle. ‘Nooooo!’

Darling,’ said Daddy, ‘what’s the matter? Why don’t you want to go to playschool?’

‘I don’t want to,’ Harriet replied.

‘It’ll be fun,’ said Daddy, ruffling her hair and tickling her under the arm. ‘There’ll be lots of other children there for you to play with and toys and games and lots to do. It’ll be great.’

‘I don’t want to,’ Harriet sobbed again.

‘Harriet, you’re going. Now get your coat,’ Mummy insisted.

‘Nooooo!!’ screamed Harriet, dropping to the floor and kicking and thrashing in protest.

‘Pick her up and put her in the car Mike, otherwise we’ll never get out of here,’ said Mummy, looking at her watch.

Harriet turned up the volume tenfold and lashed out at Daddy as he picked her up off the floor and carried her through the front door and out towards the car.

‘Darling, darling, stop it will you. Stop it,’ pleaded Daddy.

‘I don’t want to go, I don’t want to, I don’t want to,’ Harriet continued to howl.

‘Carole look, perhaps if she doesn’t want to go this much then maybe we should...’

‘No,’ said Mummy. ‘She’s bloody well going and that’s all there is to it. It’s cost us a lot of money to get her into this school and she’s not going to get out of it before she’s even set foot inside the classroom.’

‘But if this is how she’s going to be, then...’ Daddy started to say but Mummy once again cut him off.

‘No, she does this every time and every time we cave in. Well no more. I start back at work next week and I’m not putting it off another year just because this little madam doesn’t want to go to playschool like everyone else. Now put her in the car and let’s get going. I’m not going to have her late on her first day.’

**********

Playschool looked like a battle ground. Norma and Jean, who ran the school, fought to prise away a dozen frantic children from their parents.

‘Wave goodbye Toby.’

‘Nooo!’

‘See you soon Gemma.’

‘Mummy!!!’

‘Go on Jason, go with the nice ladies.’

‘I don’t want to, I don’t want to, Mummy don’t go!’

Norma and Jean had seen it all before. They were old hands at playschool and handled the situation with calm professionalism. Several of the parents looked as tearful as their offspring and needed a certain amount of reassurance themselves.

Harriet’s Daddy was one of them.

‘That’s all right my dear, you leave little Harriet with us, she’ll be alright,’ they told Daddy.

‘Bye darling, bye sweetheart. Daddy will be back to collect you in a little while.’

‘No Daddy, no. Don’t go,’ little Harriet continued to blub.

‘Perhaps I should stay with her for a little while,’ Daddy suggested. ‘Just for the first lesson. Just until she calms down a little.’

‘No no no no no,’ Norma protested. ‘That’s not the way we do it and that’s not the way it’s done. Little Harriet here will be perfectly fine with Jean and I. We don’t want a classroom full of grown ups getting in the way of playtime now do we Harriet?’

But Harriet just buried her head a little deeper into Daddy’s leg by way of a response.

‘Come on now darling, it won’t be so bad,’ Daddy persisted, as Mummy started beeping the horn outside in the car park.

‘Harriet darling, Harriet,’ Norma said in a calm and soothing voice. ‘We’ve got toys and games and colouring pens and costumes and we’re going to have such a magical time it’ll seem like you’re in a dream.’

Norma and Jean went around and spoke to each of the children in turn and soon the tide of tears began to ebb. They had such a kindly old way about them that most of the children felt reassured enough to lower their guard and turn their minds to play. Some still continued to grizzle but slowly the sights and sounds and other children playing eased their fears. Harriet was one of the last to turn off the waterworks and banged on the window and hollered and howled as she watched Daddy get into Mummy’s car and drive away after one last quick beep.

‘Come along then little lady, come away from there and let’s join the other children shall we?’

‘But I want my Mummy!’ Harriet croaked miserably.

‘Your Mummy? Your Mummy’s had to go and get you a magical present. Don’t you want a magical present?’ Norma asked.

‘No,’ wailed Harriet. ‘I just want my Mummy.’

‘Well she’ll be back very soon. So come along, stop crying and join in the fun. We’ve got a wonderful game to play.’

Norma dragged Harriet by the arm and planted her in the middle of a group of children who’d started mixing and mingling already.

‘Okay everyone? Everyone? Can we have your attention, we’re now going to play a game. Does everyone want to play a game?’

Most of the class cheered with delight. Only Harriet and Jason continued to protest. They didn’t want to play a game, they just wanted to be at home with their Mummies and Daddies and no amount of whooping, hollering and cheering from the other children would convince them otherwise.

‘Okay then, here’s what we want you to do,’ Jean was saying. ‘We want you all to stand in a line and place your left hand – that’s this one – on the shoulder of the boy or girl immediately in front of you.’

Most of the class did as they were told, leaving only Harriet and Jason to be forcibly ushered in to position at the end of the line.

‘Okay. Now I want you all to close your eyes and place your other hand over them,’ Jean instructed. ‘No peeking otherwise the magic won’t work.’

Jean took the hand of the boy at the head of the line and Norma took up position at the rear.

‘Okay,’ said Jean, ‘and let’s all march. Come on now; one-two-three-four, one-two-three-four.’

The procession started off around the classroom in random criss-cross patterns. ‘And turn, two-three-four, straight ahead, two-three-four.’ And so on, in figures of eight, squares, triangles and circles, weaving in and out of the desks and marching past the sand pit, until soon the children were giggling with joy with every twist and turn.

Even Harriet began to get into the spirit of things and tittered between sniffs, when all of a sudden a door slammed behind her and she turned to see Norma locking them inside the storage cupboard. Harriet turned back to face the front and let out a scream at what she saw.

It looked like a frog; a giant, huge green, slippery frog. Only as big as a cow. It sat at the far end of the cupboard barely moving, just staring at them with eyes as wide as saucers and a mouth stretched from ear-to-ear. Suddenly all the children were screaming. The line broke and a dozen pairs of little legs tried to put as much distance between themselves and the enormous, slimy monster.

‘Come along children, this is Hector,’ Jean tried to calm the children. ‘Hector is our friend. Hector likes little children. Come along, say hello.’ And with that, Jean picked up Jason and tossed him into Hector’s hungry waiting mouth. Jason screamed, but his cries were cut short as Hector swallowed him whole.

Next in went Gemma, pushed forward by Norma, Hector lassoed her with his enormous black tongue and pulled her into his ravenous mouth.

Henry soon followed. Then Toby and Jess, and Ryan, Sarah and Zack, until only Harriet remained. Paralysed with fear, she felt herself lifted by the arms and legs and carried toward the excited, chirping Hector.

‘Last one,’ Norma told him. ‘Should keep you fed for another couple of years, shouldn’t it?’

‘Okay Norma, you clear up here and I’ll back up the horse box,’ Jean told her. ‘And let’s get out of here.’

And with that, the last thing Harriet heard was her own petrified scream, as Hector looped his thick black tongue around her waist and pulled her into his eager mouth.

© Danny King 2024