Happy Mondays

Introducing Dave & Vinny

Somewhere between the Byker Wall and the Longcroft estate there is a pub. No ordinary pub. The Rampant Horse exists in that special dimension between fantasy and reality. A place for tall tales and fine ales. A place where the pork scratchings all have the soft gooey stuff still on and you are sure of a lovely couple of surprises if you had the last packet of peanuts from behind the bar.  A shining beacon, the concept of the perfect pub in a world gone crazy. Take a turn to the left of infinity, down a back street, round the corner and go past a burnt out Ford Cortina and you might make it. This is the Rampant Horse. Dave and Vinny its regulars.

"Dave, that band with the mad maraca player erm..."
Dave pondered a moment.
"Ladysmith Black Mambazo?"
"I'm pretty sure there was no maraca player in Ladysmith Black Mambazo Dave."
"Who are you on about then Vinny?"
"Oh, that's it. The Happy Mondays."
"Now I remember. Twisting my melon and all that. What about them?"
"The maraca guy, Baz was it?"
Dave sipped his pint.
"I think it was Bez mate."
Vinny sipped his pint.
"Baz, Bez who cares?"
"He does. I've been trying to tell you. He's at the bar."

Vinny pointed. Stood at the bar was the aforementioned famed percussionist and dancer extraordinaire, Bez. He was chatting with Ken the notoriously grumpy barman. Bez gave him a thumbs up and wandered from the bar.
"Ken," yelled Vinny, "What was that all about?"
Ken whose finger had not been on the pop culture pulse since 1973 shouted over.
"He's a musician or something has a gig over at the Red Lion. Got a little lost on the estate."
"Bugger me Dave I never even got chance to get a selfie with him."
"I didn't peg you for a selfie kind of guy Vinny."
"Not usually but that was Baz!"
Dave shook his head.
"Bez."
"Whatever. Anyway if they have the same Satnav his mate Shane Ryder might be along in a minute."
"Shaun."
"Oh piss off Dave."
"Happy Monday to you too."
They supped up in silence as Kinky Afro came on the Jukebox.

© Darren Sant 2023