Vinny sat down heavily next to his old friend.
"Here you go Davey boy. A pint of Ken's finest."
He slid a pint across the table.
"Many thanks old pal but I feel the need for some pedantry."
Vinny raised an eyebrow.
"Pray continue."
"Well I just feel the need to point out that nothing that comes across Ken's bar top could be described in any way as the finest anything."
"I heard that!" Yelled Ken who had just made a mental note to short change Dave next chance he got.
"You make a valid point. Accept then your mediocre ale." Stage whispered Vinny.
"I shall and with thanks. I have noticed Vin that you seem a tad frayed around the edges today."
Vinny chuckled.
"You are astute in your observations Dave knowing me well as you do. I was out last night with some old friends who happened to be in town. They took me where the youngsters drink."
"Oh, into Town then eh? Tell me what horrors you experienced."
"Well it wasn't all unpleasant. There were many fetching ladies wearing what can only be described as oversized belts with legs like bambi and flesh spilling out of tiny tops. I tried my very best not to look.
"I can imagine, a chaste fella such as yourself."
"But Dave I felt myself yearning for..."
He gestured around him.
"The sanity of the Rampant Horse."
For one brief moment the entire pub stopped moving and then as one everyone burst out laughing.
"Tell me more Vinny."
"Well here's an example I was stood at the bar sipping a flat lager that must have cost as much as two of Ken's pints. This young fella comes up next to me. He's dressed as Elvis. Full jump suit rhinestones, sunglasses, wig the works. So I try to engage him in conversation, as you do and I asked if he's with a stag party."
"Must have been right?"
"Well he says to me no. They wear different outfits every week just for the fun of it."
"Ah, sarcasm."
"No mate he was being deadly serious. I saw more people later in crazy outfits. One fella in a mankini thing."
They both shuddered.
"It must be exhausting being young." Said Dave.
Vinny nodded and sipped his pint thoughtfully.
"Madness mate. I'm telling you for a normal Saturday night it was like the bloody Eurovision song contest out there."
"Thank heavens for havens such as this."
"Amen."
© Darren Sant 2023